A friend of mine recently asked me what was the number one thing I compare myself in. I’m thinking, “Just one?! It’s a tie for everything!” And I realized, I compare myself so often I’m mostly unaware of it. Comparison is the constant soundtrack playing in my head, sort of like background music.
What is the number one thing I compare myself in? Everything. But I did figure out that it is always around competence. I compare myself about competency in every area of my life. Name something and I have a competency-comparison story. Career, friends, social, marriage, family, parenting, home decorating, clothes. For example…
As a friend is telling me about her weekend, I’m running down the list of how I wish I had more friends, usually not long after I’ve had to pare down my lunch dates with friends because I’ve overbooked my week again. Or my house isn’t ‘pretty’ enough to have company and I can’t think of anything to cook for them anyway.
My husband tells me he’s going for a bike ride and the voice in my head ques up the condemnation about how lazy I am, even though the reality is I exercise 6-7 days a week. Or, I only notice the couples who serve together and take amazing vacations with other couples, completely skipping over how my husband notices and remembers hundreds of little details about my likes or puts so much effort into planning interesting places to take me just to share the experience of my discovering something new.
Then my friend asked me how the comparison struggle has made me miss what God was doing in me. I really had to think about that one. And the comparison struggle has made me miss what God is doing in me the most by letting comparison keep me from boldly being me, that is fully stepping my into my identity as a strong leader in the work He assigned to me. This shows up as fear, insecurity and self-doubt by causing me not to speak up or take action because I might fail or people might think I’m weird, or worse. Oh my goodness, does any of that really matter?
How about you? What is the number one thing you compare yourself in? How is the comparison struggle making you miss what God is doing in you?
Step 1: Notice the comparison thoughts
Step 2: Reject them
Step 3: Replace them with facts
Step 4: Think of 3 things you are thankful for today